Andrew Marcec » Sheena

Sheena

Feb 25, 2009 | 1 Comment | @andrewmarcec

Want to watch the worst movie ever made?

I’m serious, this is one of the worst movies that I have ever seen in my life…are you really sure about this? I mean even I turned it off, and I’ll sit through almost anything…

Okay you asked for it, here is Sheena.

Yes, the intro credits are just her riding a zeebra. So, what is the basic premise of this movie? Sheena’s parents are scientists who are killed while trying to take samples of a mountain they were told were forbidden to take. Sheena is then raised by a the tribe shahman who travels to the city and is blamed for the death of the king.

Are you snoring yet? Okay well add this to the plot…

The dad from “Blossom” and his fat friend on a water diet are filming a documentary about the king’s brother kicking a football (not kidding) and they film the assasination of the king. Our stories now collide and I dropped dead on the floor.

This film has dialogue that is just so incredible, so creative, that I have to write out a scene for you…

Ext: Jungle waterfall-day

Sheena strips naked and wades into the cool water smiling and turning to look at the dad from Blossom. He tries not to make it obvious that he is staring right at her boobies as he brushes his teeth with a twig, or piece of straw, or something. Sheena turns to him and splashes him.

Sheena:

Brr, the water is cold, why don’t you get in.

Dad from Blossom:

No…no, I’m okay you keep washing.

Sheena:

What are those odd skins you are wearing? What animal do they come from?

The dad from Blossom stands and starts undressing.

Dad from Blossom:

They are from the wild silk beast. You can find them at Bloomingdales.

Dad from Blossom removes his tie and lets it fall to the ground. As he unbuttons and opens his shirt Sheena gasps.

Sheena:

You have fur!

Okay, that’s seriously all I can write out for you without having a brain anneurism. This is seriously one of the worst films ever. If you want to torture someone you hate, or feel suicidal then watch this movie…otherwise stay away.

.5 out of 5