People Hate Everything

Mar 30, 2009 | No Comments | @andrewmarcec

As I’ve perused the internet, whcih I do sometimes, I manage to stumble across odd things that lead to rants on this blog…here is yet another.

My newest discovery is an underground web of people who loathe Starbucks.  Do they loathe them for charging a millionty dollars for a cup of coffee?  No.  Do they hate them because they “sold out”?  No.  They dispise them because of the way that they name their cup sizes.  I would think, of all things to hate a company for, this would be something one could overlook, but people seriously hold a grudge against these cup sizes.  Most commonly the Venti.

Why is it so difficult to smile and say “Venti coffee”, pay, and leave with what you want?  Why do you have to be a douche and say stuff like “large” and hope that they correct you by saying “Venti” so that you can unleash fury like Shannon Dorhety did on Jason Lee in Mallrats?  I go to Caribou Coffee every morning before work, I’m nice to the people that work there, they charge me a dollar and always have my medium black coffee ready and waiting at 7.20 in the morning.  Why do they do this?  Becasue I’m nice to them and I don’t complain about stupid fickle things.

Do you go into a restaurant and say “cheeseburger”, fully knowing that there are eight different types on the menu and hope that they get it right?  No!  You say the silly name that it was give and you grit your teeth with satisfaction because you are getting exactly what you want.

Do you realize that when Starbucks started everyone loved saying things like Venti because it was new and original?  No, you have lost sight of that and now you feel that you should rebell because now you feel that, in a depression, coffee companies are the main reason for our economic status.

I have an idea for everyone who falls in line with this rant.  MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN COFFEE AT HOME!  Every size is the same…mug.  You can say that can’t you?  Here we’ll try it together, MU- is the first part, -UG is the last.  Now, put them together MU-UG…MUG!  Very good!  Now shut up and make your own half caf, no whip, soy bean frappolacchino.

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