I H8 U

Apr 23, 2009 | No Comments | @andrewmarcec

Is my subject regarding the fact that I hate people that use that stupid texting language?  Wait, you don’t know about the texting language!  Things like “kk” or “p3@c3″ or “lol” or the almost muppet “rotfl” are definitely the bane of my existance, but this rant is about something more devious, more pointless, more frustrating than the grammatically incorrect “2 Fast 2 Furious” title.

I’m talking about vanity license plates.

This eyesores should be illegal.  It was a phenomenon that I never took notice of until I really started to look for it, but now it’s all I see!  This is truly one of the first forms of customization of personal belongings.  Vanity plates pre-dates chrome spinners and hydraulics, however it still gets the same eye roll inducing look from passers by.

It is perfectly named as well, because the people who get them are incredibly vain.  My best example is from Monday when I caught a glimpse of a giant, gas guzzling yank tank (SUV) that was thumping and rocking with bass.  The license plate read BG SEXY, no fucking joke.  I think I can put all thoughts of him compensating for something aside.

My next favorite is from someone who is either a fan of the paranormal…or just color blind.  It read GHOST.  His car, bright blue.  You connect the dots…I tried and had a stroke.

I also caught two on the same day that fed into a similar theme…swimming.  The first was a crude misspelling of the word dolphin…DOLFINN.  The second was a person very proud of the fact that her dog can swim, SWIM K9.  Don’t all dogs swim?  I mean dog paddle is named after the way their species takes to water.  Now if her dog can swim the English Channel, I retract that statement, but if it just swims in a circle in a pond it doesn’t deserve it.

The absolute best that I saw, was actually the first one to catch my eye. VIJAY.  I think this is hilarious because it can go one of two ways…either it’s someone named Vijay and he is marking his car…or we will take the road that I walk.  VIJAY is short for vijayjay and there just wasn’t enough room.  This one is not lumped in with BG SEXY because he was flaunting, this person is just making a declaration.

There is only one vanity plate and that I will ever give the thumbs up to and respect…and that is ASSMAN.

Topics: Blog Humor Rants | Read more about:

Comments are closed.

This is the personal website of author Andrew Marcec. Here you'll find excerpts of all his latest works, his daily blog, the serial podcast 'Oasis', and a whole lot more. So feel free to stay a while, read some of his work, and drop Andrew a line when you're done!

  • No public Twitter messages.